Going Buggy

Eewww

While the rest of Westborough residents are trying to avoid insects due to the EEE critical threat level, my fifth grader and I are in hot pursuit of all things six-legged, winged, or creepy-crawly.

Yes, it’s that time of year for Caleb’s class: The Bug Project.  And it’s due in just one week.

The Bug Project requires that my ten-year-old find, identify, and mount (in an aesthetically pleasing way) 20 different varieties of bugs. Of all the scientific field projects my kids have done over the years — the Leaf Project and the Bird Project come fondly to mind— the Bug Project is by far my least favorite.

I mean, any other time of the year, there are plenty of bothersome bugs buzzing around our barbeque dinner, crawling across our porch, or munching in my flower garden. But the day the Bug Project is assigned, the little critters just Poof! Disappear. They must be smarter than we know.

On top of the creepiness of the whole thing “bug” thing, I wish we didn’t have to snuff out these little buggers’ lives with nail polish remover, or throw them in the freezer to expire from hypothermia.

The torture doesn’t stop there, no. Then these young, impressionable children must mount their precious bugs by sticking a pin through the middle of their dead bodies, and displaying them, bug-eyed and legs extended, in a display box, to be forever freakishly enshrined.

Eew.

I’m not sure if the boys in the class get into the Bug Project more than the girls, but I did hear today of a friend’s daughter’s very creative and delicious approach to her project: She made a Bug Cake.

Yes, that’s right: a real edible, round cake, with a round cardboard mounting top (separated from the frosting of course!) that displayed her bug collection in an insectual, decorative swirl. Now THAT is kid’s creativity at its best, don’t you think? She got an “A.” on her project.

Buoyed by this unique approach to bug mounting, I suggested perhaps a pizza-based bug mount for Caleb: bugs suspended above steaming, hot slices of cheese and pepperoni.  He’s not going for it, sadly. He’s more of a traditional kid: we’ll probably go the trusty shoebox route.

Today, it’s warm and sunny outside. This means you will likely spot Caleb and me, Tupperware and nets handy, hanging around Harvey’s – likely both the Garden Center and the dump – two high-potential bug-napping spots.

And, if we don’t find our 20 bugs? I got a great tip from the teacher: Already dead bugs count, too. Sweet! Off to the basement for embalmed beetles and the garage for crusty crickets! I’m sure there are plenty of dead bugs around this house – we just have to follow the trail of moldy dishes my teenagers invariably leave behind.

So, hey…  If you see any good, preferably large bugs (much easier to mount), trap the critters and give me a call right away, OK? Caleb and I will happily come by and remove your pesky pests.

Wait… what’s that outside my deck I just saw? A Dragonfly??  Score!

Gotta fly.