This site is kept in loving memory of Trish Reske, who passed in October of 2021.
Trish was a writer - this site captures a bit of her incredible sense of humor.
You can read Trish's full obituary here.

A Piece of Cake

Simple Tips for Simply Fun Birthday Parties

Does the thought of planning your child’s next birthday party make you want to celebrate or break out on a cold sweat?

Children’s birthday celebrations can easily balloon out of control. Parties are big business, where the birthday guest list often includes Chuck E. Cheese. As kid’s parties get bigger, so do complications, expenses and stress.

Your child’s next birthday party shouldn’t require a lot of fuss to be a lot of fun. Here are some practical, simple tips you can use to cut out the stress while you’re cutting the cake:

Pick a Theme, Any Theme

Themes for parties are a great way to focus party time fun. Ask yourself: What does your child like? What imaginary games does she play? Tap into your child’s mind, and you’ll most likely hit on a winning theme. A great web resource for ideas is http://www.birthdaypartyideas.com. The site might also publish your theme for others to access.

An easy theme that’s great for kids 5 and older is a “Backwards Party.” Start with thank you notes for invitations; greet guests at the door with “Thanks for coming to my party!” Eat the cake before the meal; sing “You To Birthday Happy!”; run three-legged races backwards— the ideas are endless.

Once you’ve chosen a theme, carry it through from the initial invite, to games, decorations, and the cake. Remember though, to stay simple and keep your child in mind. Kids will never remember whether the napkins matched the paper plates.

Make Invites Intimate

Bigger parties don’t mean better parties. Resist the temptation to invite your kindergartener’s twenty classmates to the party, hoping for cancellations. Instead, sit down with your child and ask her to list her very best friends. Make a list that truly reflects your child’s closest companions and not merely class chums. Six to ten guests are ideal for a hassle-free party.

If grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins want to get in on the fun, consider inviting them to a separate family get-together. There are a multitude of factors in making this decision, including the age of your child, the number of nearby relatives, and the closeness of your family. In general, though, your child’s party can’t be all things to all people. Resist trying to accommodate both children and adults so you don’t double your efforts.

Give-em Games

Kids love games—the sillier the better. Plan a treasure hunt, run relay races, host a hide-and seek—anything that engages children in active play rather than passively watching a hired magician or juggler do their act. This is especially true in the case of preschoolers and young children. If you do choose professional entertainment, whether in your home or off-site, be prepared to have an alternate activity available for those children who just won’t sit still for the show.

Do it Duo

Whether you enlist the help of your spouse, a friend, or a babysitter, don’t try to throw a party solo. Birthday parties are notoriously high-energy, excitable events that can be exhausting for even the most enthusiastic parent. Once you’ve got your party partner signed up, delegate responsibilities. Have them organize the games while you record the fun on video. Let your friend serve cake while you ready the presents. Party sharing also gives you time to join in on all the fun the kids are having. Or, it may give you a chance to sit down(!) and relax for a few moments.

Forego Fancy Food

Plan your party to occur between mealtimes, not during them. If your party is power packed with fun kid’s activities, the food you prepare won’t be eaten anyway, even if you could keep all those tykes sitting down for any length of time. People should not arrive at a party expecting to be fed a four-course meal. Expectations about eating food are usually a concern for adults, not kids (another good reason why it’s best not mix the two into one party). Instead of a meal, provide a few simple, healthy snacks that kids can help themselves to if they’re hungry. For younger kids, have small containers of water or juice boxes for easy access. If anyone complains, let them eat cake.

Kid Around

Let’s face it: some grown-ups have forgotten how to have fun. A well-planned, stress free kid’s birthday party can be just the place for you to let down your guard and have some all-out silly merriment. Be spontaneous and find things to do that your child and her friends will delight in. One mom who recently hosted a party for her four-year old decided on the spot to forego the paper plates intended for the ice-cream cake. Instead, she gave spoons to the wide-eyed guests, their even wider-eyed moms, and said “Dig In!” Kids and moms alike gleefully gutted the birthday cake.

Bag the Goodie Bags

Goodie bags can gobble up lots of money and leave nothing of lasting value to show for it. Be warned: if you buy a bag, you have to fill it. How about providing something that’s part of the party for a take-home keepsake, like a Wild West cowboy hat or Hawaiian lei? Steering clear of goody bags will relieve your purse as well as your guests’ parents, who never know what to do with all those take-home trinkets anyway.

Plan for the Unplanned

Every party has its bloopers, whether it’s the cat that walks through the cake and tracks green icing on your carpet, or the kid who bursts out crying the moment your child is blowing out the candles. Plan the party well, but leave room for the unplanned. Know that there’s no such thing as a perfect party, and you’ll find yourself working a lot less hard to make it that way. Maybe you’ll even find yourself laughing over spilt milk rather than fuming about it.

No Notes, Thankyou

Miss Manners may say otherwise, but it’s simply not necessary to write and mail thank you notes from your daughter to all her guests for their gifts. If your child thanks her friend for the gift upon opening it, that’s both polite and adequate.

If she receives a present from someone who did not attend the party, or doesn’t open the gift at the party, then a thank you note or a phone call is in order and should be encouraged. The principle is to teach your child to be gracious and thank guest for their presents. Whether it is in person, by letter or by phone is immaterial.

As you plan your child’s next party, use these tips, and ask yourself the all-important question: Am I doing this thing (spending your month’s food budget on goodie bags, hiring an amateur barbershop quartet, or hand-writing three dozen thank you notes) to make my child’s party more memorable and fun, or am I doing it out of obligation?

The answer to that question, and what you do about it, can transform your next party from one you dread to one you and your child dream of.


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